HANDLING MONDAY MORNING CHAOS.... "HILLBILLY GIRL" STYLE

Haven't we all felt this way before? Like throwing ourselves on the ground and laying in a fetal position pouting until people take notice? Then when you (older brother in this instance) notice that people aren't giving you the attention you Want........NO the attention you NEED.........NO that you DESERVE, it just throws you into a deeper pout........and the only one who seems concerned is your dog! (Don't you just love animals?......when they aren't digging up your flower beds or eating your patio chair cushions......)

This photo of my OH SOOOOOOOO DRAMATIC Rugrat on the ground with her OH SOOOOOOOO (not) CONCERNED brother hovering over her to comfort (torture her some more) is how I felt this fine CHAOS Monday morning....

It was such a rush of Monday morning madness that throwing myself on the ground in a fetal position and pouting sounded like a great idea. I just didn't have the time for the nervous break-down that I deserved this morning.......I'd have to drive everyone all the way to school for sure!

So we woke up LATE this morning. My son comes in and announces that it is now PAST the time we are supposed to leave to take him to the bus stop. "Well, thank you son! Thank you for letting me know we are going to be late AFTER we are late"...... So I say "Oh Golly Gee (Beaver), My goodness be better hurry!" (Or something like that) and we jump in the car. Well, on the way to the car my youngest Rugrat tells me she has no clean pants to wear today.... WHAT!?! My head spun around twice......then I threw a clean pair of pants in her direction and then jumped in the car.....

Now mind you I'm in my pajamas, I did grab a jacket, If I got a ticket on the way I didn't want to be showing off my goods..... Hey maybe I should have........nah.......never mind.....

So we did our 500 mph down the dirt driveway, didn't even wait for the dust to stop and my Rugrat just jumped out and opened the gate with lightening speed.....

Brrrnnnnnnnnnnnn I'm off......errrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk I'm stopped (didn't want to leave him at the gate).... He closes the gate and hops back in the car. He is now telling me what time his father can be at the 2nd gate and still get him to the bus stop on time. Mind you it is 2 minutes past that time now....

So the 2nd gate is open (there is one minute back!).....we are off..... now I'm on "paved road" so I have to behave my speed..... but we did make it to the bus stop just as the other teenagers were loading the bus and I was happy to see I wasn't the only parent whose child was leaving their car at warp speed to get on the bus.... I also wasn't the only parent with hair that had not been done.....

This little fact somehow made it okay in my mind to go full on hillbilly girl and STOP at the mini mart/gas station and grab my coffee creamer. (we were out and I just must have my coffee and I'm not woMAN enough to drink it without my yummy flavors in it).....

I pull up, evaluate the situation (ie: do I KNOW anyone here?.......it's a small town I'm bound to know somebody)...... It's pretty slow this morning. YES YES YES.......(a quick thank you to God).....I jump out! "YES, I AM BAREFOOT!" I know, I know.. I warned you I did a hillbilly girl thing.....

As soon as my bare feet hit the pavement I shrunk down..... head down and eyes staring at the pavement....(if I don't make eye contact nobody can see me) straight line for the door...... straight to the fridge.... This was fast because there was only ONE creamer in the entire store..... made my choice quick and easy...... Cash register. Apologized for looking a fright! Explained (RAMBLED.......isn't it crazy how fast we can talk when we are embarrassed......I sounded like an auctioneer on speed) about how my son almost missed the bus and how I was out of coffee creamer (and in case he didn't notice) I was barefoot and in my pajamas, but I had a big jacket on so it was a little better.......oh and look there goes his bus past us now.... (I'm now yelling at myself in my head.......SHUT UP!! YOU ARE NOW SOUNDING/LOOKING LIKE A PSYCHO HILLBILLY GIRL).....

Of course all I had in my wallet was a $100 bill so he probably thought I must have mugged one of the "dressed" customers out front because it was obvious I couldn't even afford shoes or a hair brush.

I rushed back out to the car, asking myself how coffee creamer could have become so important to me. Did I need help? Therapy possibly? Why couldn't I just suck it up and drink it black. Sighhhhhh.......

So I make it home (with my cherished creamer) and it's now time for the girls to be at the bus. "Teeth brushed?" ... NOPE..... "Backpacks?" I'll get it...... "Soccer stuff?"....... Nope...... "Lunches?" ...... No, I want school lunch today...... "SHOES?"....... as they look at my bare feet...... YES!.......

So they head out and my HUNK tells them to get in his truck he wants to take them....(I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU MY HUNK OF BURNIN' LOVE)... I'm assuming they made it to the bus stop.......probably as they other children were loading......

I poured my coffee, started laundry, started dishes and now I'm drinking my COLD coffee with creamer and wondering if you all had the same Monday as me????

Ciao Bellas~