Thursday, November 5, 2009

FIRST DOCTOR CONSULT~ FUNNY STORY

A funny story came to mind today......and of course I had to share..



YEARS AGO.......When I was looking for a new OBGYN my mother referred me to hers.



I called to make an appointment and they stated I would need to have a consult with him before becoming an "official patient". I made my appointment and assumed we would discuss my medical history at the consult.



I arrived to my appointment and was taken by a nurse back to the doctors "Office". I sat in a chair waiting for him to arrive. In only a few minutes he entered the room and sat down. We discussed my previous pregnancies, and all medical history.



Then he tells me to go to a room and he will do an "exam".


I was like "confuses says what?!?" Ummmm..........wasn't expecting this, ummmmm, maybe we should RE-SCHEDULE this. He informed me it would only take a few minutes.

What I really wanted to say was "UMMMMMM I NEED TO SHAVE!"...... embarrassing. Bad enough they are messin' around down there looking at your junk but then to have hairy tarantula legs on top of it.




I admit it wasn't stubble. I could have handled a little stubble. This was probably a week beyond stubble........yes, you heard correctly, a WEEK. I'm not saying you could braid the hair yet, at least not easily......but it was visible, no doubt about that.

So I'm taken to "the room" and told to undress and put on the PAPER gown...... seriously this is supposed to cover all of me?..... and do I open it to the front or the back....... Holy crap, I hate doctor visits.....




So the doctor enters a room, starts talking and presses a button on the wall. The nurse enters, comes over and says she can tell I'm very nervous and asks if I would like her to hold my hand.



I wanted to scream CAN YOU SHAVE MY LEGS? .....now that would calm me down. But I settled for her holding my hand. In some strange way, holding the hand of a complete stranger was comforting.

So the doctor sits on his little stool at the end of the bed, moves his little light and asks me to scooch (is that a word?) down more on the table.




All I can think about is my hairy legs. No worries that my big rear is now closer to him.......and OMIGOSH, what did I have for lunch?........ CRAP, Mexican food.....Seriously..........now this is never a good idea before an exam..... sweet Jesus, please don't make this worse. It's bad enough he will need band aids from brushing up against my legs......now he may need a mask...



Can you imagine? sighhhhhhh.....

I start to scooch and I just can't take it. Some things never change, even back then in nervous situations I get diarrhea of the mouth.....so OF COURSE this is one of those moments and I blurt out. "I'm sorry! I didn't know I was doing this today. I DIDN'T SHAVE!"

He starts laughing and then he says" You didn't shave for our first date?!?"

That broke the ice. I started laughing........a little......and then I said "I'm so sorry I am just nervous. I HATE these exams!

He then said something that sealed the deal. Something that made me know that he had they type of sense of humor I needed in a doctor.




He said "Honey, nobody likes them. And if I had anyone climb up on this table and tell me they did I would be out that door so fast!"...

I relaxed. As much as one can relax during an exam of those sorts.

I have many memories of funny comments from my doctor visits. Not sure if it just because of his sense of humor or it is all the air I seem to carry in between my ears sometimes.....




I'll have to tell you about the visit when I expressed my eating/weight concern. That was funny...........well kind of......



Ciao Bellas~

7 comments:

  1. I am sitting at work laughing! That is hilarious. I know what you mean about the Mexican food too. Funny how women think alike.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my I ♥ Faces photo. You're sweet. I thought my transposing Drew on the big screen turned out pretty good. Thought I might make him a copy as a fun addition to his Christmas gifts. ~Martha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my word. I was cringing for you! And yes, by the end, laughing as well. And it would seem fitting that my first visit here would be a story of your first visit with your OB/GYN....'cause somehow one of those stories go hand in hand with Mamas. :> (BTW.....found your blog via a comment you left on PW's blog. :>)

    ReplyDelete
  3. ♥ That cracks me up!!! You're so awesome to share!!! We bought a house and switched to the other side of town so we were in a different building (ward) for our church and I found out that my OB was in our new ward (congregation)! SO awkward!!!! I mean seriously seeing your OB every Sunday!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Okay, I'm laughing so hard I've got tears running! I know what you mean about the whole OBGYN experience. I'm always expecting the Doctor to have an orange vest on waving hand flashers directing me to move down and over like the airline directors do! Can't you just see'em waving their arms!LOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. That IS funny! I love a Dr. with a sense of humor. You know, real folks. Not the ones who look down their nose at you.
    so many things running through your mind with, HURRY UP, at the top of the list!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was nice of him! I HATE those exams, but like the doctor said, who does like them? Ugh. Thanks for visiting my blog! I enjoyed yours! I hope you come back!

    ReplyDelete
  7. OMG!! I just laughed so hard I cried and almost peed my pants. And then I had to read it to my hubby and laughed just as hard!! Thanks for visiting my website. I'll be visiting yours for a great laugh, thanks!! Kelly at www.whatupduck.com

    ReplyDelete