Thursday, September 23, 2010


This is part of an on-going series LBDDiaries and I are doing on keeping our Inner Aloha/Peaceful Life. To see Tuesday's post go here.Kindness! Kindness! Kindness! I’m practicing my KINDNESS!

Beth made 8 “points” about Kindness. Today I want to share the first point.

1. Kindness is NOT weakness.

Being kind doesn’t mean we have to be “weak”. It doesn’t mean because we are CHOOSING to be kind that we are now a doormat. We just need to keep a kindness about us as we stand firm in whatever it may be that we need to stand up about.

In other words we can be aware of wickedness whether it be in someone’s actions or in their words to us but we can make a choice to be kind.

This is not to say that occasionally someone won't try to “steam roll you” because they feel you are “kind” and they think they can get away with it. Those people will always be out there BUT how you respond is to them up to you.

You can say “Don’t confuse my kindness with weakness” and then repeat your answer. Now, you don’t have to do this with your hands on your hips and your finger waggin’ in their face. (When you feel the need to do this just repeat to yourself “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness)

This brings me to “confession time”. Ughhhhhh You know I have to spill it and keep it real here on my Soapbox.

So here it is:

Yesterday morning......I was cranky.  YES, it happens from time to time. I had not had enough sleep, I have a lot of work to get done and the girls have minimum days each day this week because of teacher conferences. Hunk thought he was being his normal silly self. OKAY he WAS being his normally silly self (I just apparently wasn't in the mood) and he was teasing about a raccoon that had gotten into the garbage, saying “Good thing we don’t have a dog to get into the trash”. (Many of you know we lost our sweet Nestlie (chocolate lab) which broke all of our hearts….and I’m not ready to have another dog just yet.)  I must admit I’m enjoying not having things torn up and dug up….. now Nestlie was too old to do this but I am well aware that a puppy will……(I’m sure I’ll give in soon)……. So anywho…….Hunk made this comment. He was teasing……. Did I mention I was tired? So I guess the look on my face and my walking to the living room gave away that a bit of irritation was brewing in me. imagine it? in me? what next, ocean front property in Arizona? He told me he was only kidding not to get upset. I said “I’m not” (HA…..whatever)…… Then he says that I’m upset that he said to not get upset…… and again, if you know Hunk you know he is trying to poke fun and he wasn’t upset with me (not yet anyway…… I knew I needed to get out of my funk before he did get upset)….. So I walked into the kitchen and started getting my cup of coffee (more caffeine that is what I needed, then I’d be good. LOL) So, as I’m waiting for my coffee to finish brewing I am repeating OVER AND OVER “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness”. SERIOUSLY over and over and over…. I THOUGHT (key word) I was only saying it in my head but apparently..ummmmm NO….. my mouth was moving because from the kitchen table Hunks says “Steph, who are you talking to?” It was a deer in the headlights moment… I said “ummmmm myself” He looked at me like he now realized I really did need to go back to bed, I was losing it. He said “Whatcha saying to yourself?” and chuckled. I said “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness” He said “I told you I was kidding” I said “I know that I’m not mad” He said “If you know that and you are not mad then why do you feel the need to keep repeating that to yourself”? “hmmmmmmmm, good question. “Ok, so I am tired and I knew I was about to overreact “ and we both started laughing…..

It worked! Even on a cranky butt!

Sometimes we need to be reminded to be kind to the kind and other times to be kind to the wicked, ungrateful poops that cross your path. Don’t get sucked into their (or your) negative ways and responses. Rise above it. If not, it will stick with you……LONG after the conversation is over. Be proud of yourself…..

Be aware of the wickedness but make a choice TO BE KIND. Often times kindness toward someone who is being ..ehemmm…..a jerk to you can soften them. I try to keep in mind that when someone is reacting (or OVER reacting) in a “less than kind” way about something, there usually is something else behind it. Something else that has happened in their day, something else on their mind that has them on edge and they were at a breaking point. Now, I know this isn’t always the case, some people are just negative, grumpy poops…..but we don’t have to join them.

KINDNESS- It’s not weakness……It’s much easier to snap back at someone….. No, being kind isn’t being weak, in fact it’s the opposite. It can take a lot of strength and self control to react in “kindness” when someone is being rude to us.

So don’t let people “walk all over you”…. Stand up for yourself. BUT do it with integrity. Do it with class. Be the person you can look in the mirror and be proud of at the end of the day. Be the person your spouse can be proud to have at their side.

Let’s strive to do this together. Let's "kill em with kindness"

A kind hearted woman gains respect.

I'm all about wantin' some r-e-s-p-e-c-t.. (sorry you can't hear my accent or tone, haven't figure out how to type that yet).

Ciao Bellas~



  1. I know exactly how you feel! There are days that I can't deal with one more person at my job(grocery store)! Kindness always work, but sometimes I have to say sorry because I already said something not nice! Oops!!

  2. This was a most excellent posting, Miss Steph! Exactly what I needed. Just found out the poops we bought the house from? They are using our phone # on information and I AM GETTING LATE PAYMENT CALLS because of that. I had 6 separate 800 numbers all going back to the same mortgage company, a medical bill collection company, and one other, blah blah blah. I had to call them all and tell them THIS IS NOT THE NUMBER OF THA PERSON and you can tell most of the people don't believe me. Grrrr grit teeth and speak calmly, "Take this number off your books. I do not have an account with you." That takes a lot of nerve - using our # but I will not react wrong. I will be wise and kind. Wise and kind. Wise and kind. Grrrrrr

  3. What a great reminder, Stephanie. It's so easy to react with anger when someone treats us badly. I need to be more alert and ready for this challenge as it presents itself.

  4. Amazing! Love it, made me feel proud of myself because I could relate to that.