Friday, August 13, 2010

NO SLEEP FOR ME LAST NIGHT

I'm exhausted!  Let's just say I attended a party last night that I never want to attend again.

It was here at home.  It started in the middle of the night and ended when the sun started coming up. 

Who attended this party?  Two Raccoons, one trap, three Rugrats and a cat.  It wasn't a hurtful kind of trap it is more of a cage that once something enters the door closes.....

Raccoons have been coming down and eating all of our dog food each night. (I used to get so excited when I would see them because I think they are so adorable looking....things change in the middle of the night) They also get in fights sometimes out there and wake us up....So Hunk had this idea to set this cage/trap there and see if he caught one if they would stop coming down and eating the dog food.  ughhhhhh......

Hunk is a SOUND sleeper....Me?  Not so much.....  So the window is open (because of my hot flashes it felt like it was so hot that the chickens were laying hard boiled eggs) to keep me semi cooled off and I hear this awful animal fighting noise.  Screeching/growling... crazy.  Then I hear my son and see his flashlight...  He is headed outside. 

THEN I hear him yelling at something....THEN he comes back in to announce that we have "caught" a Raccoon in the cage and the other Raccoon ran off part way up our hill, stopped and stared him down....

Where is Hunk?  Fast asleep.....

So I get up and go outside with my son.  I see the Raccoon (in the cage) and outside of the cage..  So I could release him, and get some sleep, but then will the lesson be learned to NOT come here for dinner?  And more importantly will he bite me if I try messing with this cage I don't know how to work in the dark? So I grab our cat that our son was afraid the Raccoon NOT in the cage would kill and I bring him inside.

I go back to bed.... again with the hootin' and hollerin' from the Raccoons.  It was a very intense conversation of how to break the one out of it's jail cell. 

I put the pillow over my head for about 30 seconds and came up gasping for air and reaching for more deodorant, seriously was sweating like a stuck pig. 

Finally I start to fall back to sleep and something crawls on my leg.  I start to panic and then I think it was a dream and calm myself back down....  Then it happens again and I kick and hear "MEOW"  Well GREAT I just knocked the cat off of the bed.  He keeps meowing and then he jumps on my screen and tries to get to the outside.  I get up take him down and climb back in bed.  He keeps meowing.... I take him to the bathroom, close the door and go back to bed.

I'm now thinking about laying sideways on the bed, bending both knees and kicking Hunk to the floor.  Honestly, do we really need a trap set up to stop the Raccoons?  Will it even work.... AND IF WE ARE GOING TO DO THIS.....Do you really get to sleep through all the drama, only waking up a couple times when you hear your son yelling at them?.....

I decide to spare him the concrete floor underneath our bed and try to go back to sleep....  Seriously, I think I needed a shower at this point...

 I start to doze off and then something wakes me (golly gee what could it have been) and I see another flashlight this one dim (it was a book light) and I yell for my son to go to sleep. He says "Huh?  I am in bed sleeping"... 

Then my youngest Rugrat appears.  She has a news flash for us.  "Mom, there are two Raccoons in the front yard and I'm afraid they are going to kill our cat" ....... I just Sigh.....not a normal Sigh.. a sigh that circulated air in the entire bedroom.  "I know.  The cat is in the bathroom.  Leave him alone and go back to bed...... please...." and I lay my head back down.  She makes her way back to her room.  The raccoons start discussing the great escape again and then silence.

The sun is now starting to rise and Hunks alarm clock goes off.  Time to start our day......

He gets up, gets his shower and we all head out front to see the Raccoon get set free.  Hunk then announces that this wasn't his best idea and that he didn't get any sleep...

I slapped him....

Ok, so I WANTED to slap him....

Well, I at least thought about it...

Instead I explained what not getting any sleep was really like..and his night didn't qualify.... 

Then I handed him his coffee, smacked him on the rear and sent him on his way.

Then I jumped up and down on the cage and threw it in the dumpster....

Ok, well I wanted to.

Did I mention I'm tired today?

How did you all sleep last night?

6 comments:

  1. Ugh, what a pain! Although, I will admit that living in the city I would welcome such organic sleep-ruiners. All we have is sirens and college kids.

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  2. We just got back from Maui and I was blown away by how many sirens I would hear each day. My rugrats were commenting on it too. I guess we just aren't used to it living up here. College kids and raccoons......pretty close. LOL

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  3. Sorry but just the chuckle I needed tonight!! Gotta love the ability of the mention to sleep! I go outside ONCE - that is pretty much me dine till the half hour before the alarm goes off- then I am in the deepest baby sleep you have ever wanted to be in!
    I'm making a coffee for you right now!!
    Hugs
    C

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  4. When I get through laughing, I will tell you, ok? Someday I'll tell you about the pole cat kitty that fell through the ceiling insulation when we were remodeling the living room. I never moved so fast in my life!

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  5. I love your blog and an so happy to see you writing again. I do nothing but laugh at your stories.

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  6. ONLY YOU STEPH!!!!! I am still squatting! OMG, had I known this yesterday I could have slapped hunk for ya-lol

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