Figuring out who you are?

HELLO! 

Don't faint.  I know it's a long overdo post!  

I saw a great sign today and had to share.  It stopped me in my tracks.  It said "Don't try to figure out who you are CHOOSE who you want to become".  That hit me.  From time to time I say WHO AM I ANYMORE?  Where did Stephanie go?  I'm a mom, a wife, but who AM I?  So I guess the answer is I'm whoever I choose to be.  We can make changes at any age!  If I want to be giving, loving, a mother my kids look up to and admire, a wife my husband is proud of, a person who works out, a person who is always on time, a person who is organized..... the list goes on and on.  Bottom line is if I CHOOSE to be that person I can become that.  If it is important to me and that is the person I want to be I can be that.  So I don't need to sit and try to think about WHO I am..  I am whoever I choose to be.  (within limits obviously)  I mean......  I'd love to be a singer like Faith Hill!  But ya know, God didn't bless me with those vocals!  I COULD go work on my singing and become a better singer...  But you all know what I mean.

So who do you CHOOSE to be?

Ciao Bellas

~Momma~

ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILDREN TO HAVE GATHERINGS AT YOUR HOME {Parenting Advise}

Our youngest son had his monthly "Pow Wow" this weekend.  He has a few friends who come over and they camp out in our Meadow. 

Because it was hot outside, because Hunk LOVES doing it and because teenage boys are stinky and must be dipped in water.... Hunk took them all out knee boarding, wake boarding and his all time favorite.......THE TUBE.... 

Which FYI is no longer usable after the boys AND Hunk were done with it.

Once they were finished using up all their energy and destroying things they were STARVED...  Then they come to Momma.

And Momma said EASY PEASY PLEASE....  BBQ hot dogs, chips and watermelon.

BAM.  Dinner is served.

Which most of them stood in our little kitchen and ate......and made another.....and ate...........and made another......and ate..

Why did I buy paper plates again?

Ahhhhh.... That's why......someone actually used a plate......

Then the boys went outside where we had an outdoor movie set up...  Only they brought out the video games to play on the outdoor screen instead.

P.S.  Those are ROOT beer bottles NOT beer...  Momma don't roll like that

It was really funny.......

Maybe not so much to him......  But the hot sauce (Rooster sauce) on his hot dog was funny to all the other boys.  Including Hunk.  Maybe even ESPECIALLY to Hunk.

And actually it really was funny to him too.

AFTER his mouth calmed down.

And even before his mouth cooled off... He loves pulling pranks and he was a great sport about having one pulled on him.

I stopped snapping photos at this point and they took off to the Meadow to begin their camp out. 

I of course didn't get much sleep because (thank you Mr. Cell Phone) I couldn't sleep until I knew they were done going on their "hike" around the property and were "at camp" for the night.

Boys....

Oh, and while they were gone on thier hike my oldest (7th grade) daughter and Hunk headed up to their "campsite" and put their tent up on top of their camper.. 

They usually sneak up and scare them, but since the boys were gone, they had to do SOMETHING.

Morning came quickly.....

I woke up and started making this...........

And this.......

teenage boys are hungry after Pow Wow's

or before them

or during them

or

anytime

and

all times

 I heard them come down and went to see what they were doing....

ummmmmmm.....OK

Ah.  They are seeing if the projector works on my sons stomach.

It's a Rugrat Screen

sorry....silly things crack me up

Hello there teenage friend......

His reply.... "I smell bacon...... you so love us don't you?"

To which I responded "Yes, I do, now keep your paws off until it's ready or I will have to hurt you......after I have more coffee."

Did I mention all these Rugrats are on the wrestling team?  So they could pretty much make me look like a pretzel (all be it a very plump one) if they felt like it...... 

Instead....

They mind.

They love me.

They are good boys.

But I still needed more of this.....

To have the energy to finish more of this......

After going to bed at 2:30 am

Think they are hungry? (and tired)

Breakfast is ready boys...  Come and eat...

Then clean up your mess, pack your crap and go home....

Kidding!

In fact most of the boys stayed until after dinner...

Did I mind?

Nope......We want our home to be "the hang out" place for the kids.

We can keep track of them and their friends without them realizing we are watching

AND

they think we are cool and fun parents

(we so have them fooled)

It's a WIN WIN SITUATION.

I'm all about that

and

I'm all about cheese

(sorry, I'm in a mood)

Moral of the post.... Encourage your kids to have their friends come over.  Try to make a fun environment that will encourage them to WANT to come over. 

This allows you to get to know their friends, see how they behave, influence them in the proper ways to behave and we have really been blessed by many of the children who come and go through our home.

I have a list of kids that I'm honored enough to have call me "Momma"

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Ciao Bellas~

~Momma~

P.S.  Another easy peasy dinner to make for a group is "crockpot chili verdi" or for breakfast if you don't want to do bacon and pancakes do "breakfast burritos"  Whatever you do make it easy on yourself.  Teenagers will eat anything.

FACEBOOK FOR KIDS?? {IS IT OKAY?} ADVISE NEEDED

My daughter has been BEGGING..... yep, I said BEGGING for a facebook account for about a year now.  Many of her friends have one (to which she OF COURSE hears the reply "If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it to?"  OR "Good for them, I'm not Susie's mom"  and many other smart butt remarks but the truth is I'm on the fence.

I wasn't on the fence......now I'm on the fence.  She is in 7th grade, many of her friends have it and are always sending me emails asking me to please let my daughter get an account.

The predator thing is, of course, in my mind BUT the computer is on the desk next to my desk in the middle of our home and they youngsters aren't allowed to take it to their rooms.  If you are going to type it, it better be okay for Momma to read it.  I don't read every email or get way up in their business but I know WHO they are emailing and if I feel the need to get up in their business I have no issue doing it..  It's my job as their Momma.

BUT my biggest concern is.........

DRAMA...... DRAMA.........DRAMA......  Anyone with daughters has to know about the DRAMA.....

Can you believe how mean girls can be??? It's crazy.  What's even more crazy is the Mommas that tend to join in and make things worse.  Fortunately I haven't had too much of that YET but I don't want it.  And this concerns me.....

I remember when my oldest was on MySpace.  OMYGOSH....  so and so says this about so and so and then everyone is telling everyone and then they are arguing and then there is a fight at school.  Or one kid says another kid is ugly or who knows....and I'm afraid of that.

Even 40 year olds are going on there with their drama.  Saying something "without SAYING it".....so someone else will read it and figure out it is about them.  GROW UP PEOPLE as bad as you might wish you were WE ARE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL. 

If 40 +year olds can't help themselves can I expect it to be different for 12 and 13 year olds?

My daughter argues that she won't get sucked into the drama and she will only be friends with her good friends on there.....  I'm just thinking it's 7th grade, granted at a little K-8th mountain school but still......

Sooooooooo ....... Am I being over protective?  Am I over thinking it? I tend to do this allot.... Do I let her get a CLOSELY MONITORED facebook page and if the drama starts to go on and close her page?

OR

Do I just stick to my initial thought of Nooooooo.....

I NEED your opinions please......What do you all think and why?

Ciao Bellas~

Momma

P.S.  It's only right that in a post about Facebook I ask you to click the link on my blog join me on my facebook page.  No drama on my page... promise.... (smile)

HELPFUL HOMEWORK ADVISE {stop the homework hassle}

This is part of an on-going series LBDDiaries and I are doing on keeping our Inner Aloha/Peaceful Life.  See my previous post at Organize with a Calendar {for the CEO of your houshold} for some more great tips!

HOMEWORK HASSLE STRESSIN' YOU OUT?


Raising four Rugrats (aka. Children) I have learned that homework can be the cause of a lot of stress in a home.  I have also learned that EACH CHILD IS DIFFERENT. 

I have/have had Rugrats who come in the door from school and don't even have to have a word mentioned to them and boom they are doing their HOMEWORK WITHOUT ANY ISSUES.  I have also had Rugrats who I have to watch like a hawk and CONSISTENTLY REMIND THEM TO DO THEIR HOMEWORK... (and constantly check to make sure it is actually being done and/or check what homework they actually have.  This causes so much STRESS.

Because of this I am constantly looking for pointers and tips and ideas of new things to try.

I'm assuming I'm not the only one with this issue so I thought I'd share what I have learned and what seems to be working.........this week.

HOW MUCH TIME SHOULD THEY SPEND DOING HOMEWORK ?~


Typically younger children, for obvious reasons, can only do sooooo much time at the homework table.  A general rule of thumb is that children do 10 minutes of homework for each grade level. In other words, first graders should be expected to do about 10 minutes of homework, second graders 20 minutes, third graders 30 minutes, fourth graders 40 minutes, etc. If your child is spending more than 10 minutes per grade level on their homework each night, then you may want to talk with your child's teacher.

My 6th grade daughter Math teacher recommends that after any child in his class has worked 60 minutes on math that the parent sign the paper and the child can turn it in for full math credit.  They, of course, will be reviewing it in class to get a better grasp and hopefully become able to complete the entire assignment in the 60 minute time frame.



TRYING TO NOT PULL YOUR HAIR OUT DURING HOMEWORK TIME~

Something that has helped me a lot over the years is to have a time frame that homework is done.  Example: Come home from school, have a snack and start homework.  Also having a specific area of the home where homework is completed.

If your child doesn't feel seeing the good grades on his/her report card is a good enough reason to study and do homework you may want to consider a rewards program for them.

A DAILY HOMEWORK PLANNER..... REPEAT.... A DAILY HOMEWORK PLANNER

SET UP YOUR HOMEWORK ROUTINES~

Just like with us adults and getting our housework done or our job out of the home routines help greatly.

The first thing you need to do is figure out where your child should do their homework each day.  Is it the a desk in their bedroom?  This location may be better for the child who doesn't need as much help with their homework AND who you can trust to do their homework without constant supervision.  OR maybe a desk in the main area of your home OR your kitchen table.  I find for my youngest Rugrat that she needs to be where I can see her at all times.  This is important to keep her on track.  My older Rugrat daughter and son do great in their rooms.  It really depends on the personality of your child.
One you have established where you want your child to do their homework each day make sure you have everything they will need in that location.  We have a desk in our home that is loaded with all the supplies they will need. It is located right next to my home/office desk.  If you need your child to work from your dining room table obviously having all the supplies located on your table isn't doable.  I would suggest getting a plastic tub or a large basket that you can keep all the items in and pull it out at homework time.  This way everything is still together and easy to grab at homework time but it will allow for easy clean up when it comes time to set the table and eat..

Even on a post about homework hassles it's still all about the food!  HA HA

Sorry, it's how I roll....

Ya, I could easily keep going with the "roll" comment but I'll get back to the post....



WHAT IS THE BEST TIME TO DO HOMEWORK?~

 Is it directly after school?  Is it after they come home and have a snack?  Directly after dinner?  What works best for YOUR schedule as well as your child's?  In our home our children come home, have a snack and start their homework.  This is what works best for us.  OBVIOUSLY once sports start this changes.

Be flexible with the new seasons and having to change your routine occasionally BUT try to stay as consistent as possible.  Learning a good homework habit early on will help them when they begin college and you aren't there to remind them.  You may need to play with it a bit with the schedule at first to see what works best for you, but then try to stick to it the best you can.



KEEP TRACK OF ASSIGNMENTS~

A daily homework planner is a good good good thing!  Your child should write down homework for each class/subject in their planner each day.  On occasion you will find that your child will not write down all of their assignments, as to get out of doing homework.  SHOCK AND AWE MOMENT I KNOW!  I have had this happen on numerous occasions.  Sooooooooooo if you too have a Rugrat who is a homework hassle King/Queen may I suggest requiring your child write their homework assignments IN INK in their planner AND have their teacher initial next to the homework list THAT IS WRITTEN IN INK (so they can't erase any assignments AFTER the teacher initials it......Not that they would ever dream of doing something like this).....  I only have on child who has to do the INK written assignments with signature but it is proving to be most helpful.  (smile)

*Be sure to check with your child's school for online resources.  Many teachers use "Schoolnotes(dot)com" OR they use another online grading/homework system that parents can go on to view both grades and homework assignments.

REWARDS~

I have started giving out "Good Time Tickets" to my Rugrats.  I don't JUST use them for homework I also use them for other things I catch them doing right in our home.  (For instance yesterday they unloaded some items I had purchased out of the back of my car WITHOUT my asking them to do it......)  If the planner comes home with the assignments written in it, they earn a ticket.  When they complete their homework if it is done NEATLY and they didn't dilly dally around making me repeatedly tell them to get back on task they earn a ticket.  These tickets can be redeemed for several "Good Times"  from picking what we are having for dinner to a trip to the coast for a weekend.  It all depends on how many tickets they save up.  There are also things that can get your tickets taken away.  Lying about what homework you have.  Picking any answer on multiple choice questions just to be done with the homework page "IMAGINE IT"...I don't have to imagine it..... I've lived it.....

You have to adjust here and there and I'm still learning, even after 20 years of these Rugrats.  You will find one thing works well with one child and something entirely different will work well for another.

Hope these tips were helpful!

What do you in your home that has been helpful?

Please share...we must stick together or these Rugrats will eat us alive....besides....together we can lower the stress level in many homes....

Or just open a bottle of wine...... KIDDING....

sort of...... tee hee

Ciao Bellas~
Momma

ORGANIZE WITH A CALENDAR {FOR THE CEO OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD}

This is part of an on-going series LBDDiaries and I are doing on keeping our Inner Aloha/Peaceful Life


Now that school is back in for most of us our lives have started getting busier again.  Gone are the kicked back summer days.  This doesn't mean we have to lose our "Aloha".  I refuse for it to mean this so I have been putting a lot of time into researching how to control the chaos.

One thing I have found VERY helpful is my calendar.  LOVE LOVE LOVE my calendar.  It is called "Mom's Family Desk Planner and it's by Sandra Boynton.  You can purchase them at several locations and online but I recently found them at Costco.  It's a 17 month school year planner so there is room to write things for the following school year during the current school year.  This has proven to be WONDERFUL.

Of course there is always your calender on your phone which works well and you can set alerts. I use this as well.  I like it because I almost always have my phone with me but I still love my desk planner.  I put it in my purse and that way I always have it with me.

At the beginning of the school year all the junk mail IMPORTANT papers come home and while I'm filling out what I need to fill out and send back to school I grab my calendar and I write down all the events that are on the school calendar.  "No school days", "Early release days", etc.  Then each week when the "Bulletin" comes home I again grab my calendar and write down all the dates/times of upcoming events they are announcing.

What is great about the Mom's Family Desk Planner is there is one column for MOM and one for the RUGRATS.  So I can see at a glance which column it is written in and know if it is something for me or something the rugrats are doing. 

I don't know if it is because I have my own special space and with rugrats that is hard to come by so I just get so excited (even if it is only a column on a calendar) but it's mine....all mine..... ahhhhhhhhhhh.......MINE!  Ok, sorry..

AND for the family to have an easy look they also make it in a big wall calendar.  Now this one has more columns.......everyone gets their very own column (unless you have more than a family of five, which I do but now one of my Rugrats is out on his own so I don't have to split a column between two of the children anymore) so you can record their activity in their own column and you can see at a glance who has something that day. 

At the top of the calendar there is a blank space that you can fill in your Rugrat's name and the very first column is for MOM... that's because we are the CEO of our households and we must always come first. HA....It was worth a try.....

Now remember if you do not take the time to write the appointments and events down in your calendar IT WON'T WORK.  Or if you do what I have been guilty of and you don't look at the calendar to see what you have coming up IT WON'T WORK.

I look at my calendar every night after dinner.  Why do this instead of just looking at it in the morning?  Because when I wake up and see that my calendar says "Bring 2 dozen cookies to Rugrat's class" I don't want to have CHAOS sirens going off that morning.  I want them going off the night before. 

But what I do to TRY (key word) to avoid the CHAOS even more is.......

Example:

Susie needs 2 dozen cookies taken to class on Tuesday.  On Monday's date my calendar will say "Susie needs cookies taken to class tomorrow"  AND when I find out I need to do this, along with writing on my calendar, it gets written on my grocery list (future post coming on menu planning/grocery list/budget) so when I need to make the cookies on Monday it doesn't become "A WHOLE THING" as I like to say because i don't have the ingredients to make them and now I have to make a special trip to the store, etc.  .  

Calendars are so important.  Businesses use them all the time.  Why?  Because they have to keep track off all the appointments and jobs they have going on.  Who would expect them to remember all of this information without a calendar?  Nobody would.

Well as the CEO's of our household we have a lot to keep track of and who would expect us to remember it all without a calendar?  Nobody would, EXCEPT ourselves.....

Let's give up trying to fly by the seat of our pants and then beat ourselves up when we "forget" things.  Let's take the 10 minutes to sit down and put things on our calendar's as they come in.  It will save a lot more than 10 minutes in the long run. 

***I have found a great time to fill out my calendar is when I'm sitting and waiting for my rugrats to finish guitar lessons or soccer practice or wrestling practice.  Instead of sitting and thinking I have so much to do it's a great idea to fill in your calendar or start making that to do list.

To see the previous Aloha post click here "organize & reduce stress".......For more information on our Aloha journey be sure to go visit LBDDiaries and drink up a cup of her wisdom.

Ciao Bellas~

MOMMA

Chores for children

We started a chore chart. It's based on COMMISSION as apposed to just getting an allowance. The reason for this is to show them you get paid for the job that is completed. You don't just get a set amount of money each week and end up skipping chores.

It was actually pretty funny. I ordered it from "Dave Ramsey" and when Kayla opened it she started reading the box and said "Dave Ramsey.... MOM!!!" And Katie grabbed her same size box and said "Well, here is my Dave Ramsey!" and put it to the side. They tease me because I listen to him so much.

They went on to play with their new toys/games and then Friday they were so excited to get there chore charts up and asking questions about the giving, saving and spending envelopes. We made the list of commissionable chores for them and days there were to do them and went over the "offenses" there would be fines for. Example- missing homework assignment, not feeding the dogs and your brother does it.........you pay your brother.

There are chores on the chart (as a reminder for them) but have pay at $0 because they do these chores because they are a member of our family. (make bed, do homework, laundry to hamper, etc.)

They have done the dishes twice already, made sure the animals were fed. And then come to us to have us check off the list.

This will be something we will have to stay on top of but it is important to me to teach them responsibility with helping in the family, start forming a work ethic and responsibility with money.

They will put 10% in their giving envelope, 10% in their savings envelope and the remaining 80% goes in their spending envelope.

We have another chart they can draw a picture on that goes next to the chore chart. The picture is of what they are saving for..... Can be something big or small.

We are doing something similar with our older son Kevin. He has bigger chores, gets paid more for them and they will be on the weekends instead of during the week like the girls. Reason for this is because of his wrestling practice schedule and homework load he really doesn't have time for much else during the week.

I'll keep you posted as to how it continues to go and any "tweaking" we may end up doing!

Can you believe the New Year is almost here!?!

Towels

How many of you have multiple children and those precious children leave thier towels on the ground after bathing?? I know most of our children are perfect little angels who do everything they are asked to do but occasionally our precious babies "forget they did something".

Now you know it's your children who left the towels on the ground but when you ask whose towel it is it...... Well, lets say it becomes clear that it wasn't your children afterall. No it was dundanannaaaaaaaaa "Mr. Nobody". Mr. Nobody has visited our home way too often. As the CEO of my household (lol) I've decided that I need to work hard to limit his visits.

Problem: Mr. Nobody's towel left on the ground after bath time.

Solution: Each child picks out thier favorite color. You purchase a couple towels in each of the colors they chose. You explain to them that when they take a shower/bath they are to make sure they use thier color of towel. Now when "Mr. Nobody" decides to leave a towel on the bathroom or bedroom floor you can easily tell by the color of the towel exactly who Mr. Nobody is.

Hope this helps!