Friday, September 16, 2011

Conversation between Momma and College Son (lecture or support...balancing act)

Rugrat:  Hi Mom

Momma:  Hi Sweetie!  How was your day?

Rugrat:  It was good!

Momma:  I miss you!  I haven't heard from you for about 3 days now and I'm going into withdrawals.  I tried to NOT call so I don't bug you but it's hard!  But I'm really glad you are having fun... (telling myself not to GUILT him)

Rugrat:  Ya, I've just been busy.  I guess I'm getting used to my independence...

Momma:  Meaning?

Rugrat:  Meaning...I haven't really missed my mommy and daddy yet.... I'm getting used to doing everything for myself and being on my own, still.  It's fun.

Momma:  That's good.... (and here it comes I can't keep my trap shut)  BUT....I'm not used to it yet.  I birthed you and raised you for 18 years, doing stuff for you every day and then one day you are gone and not only do I not see you each day anymore I don't talk to you for 3 days and then it's because I call you.  (Now I'm thinking CRAP, PULL IT TOGETHER and be happy he is having so much fun and doing so well)...

Rugrat:  Well, normally I'd say something right now like "I can understand how you feel" but since I don't have kids I can't really say that.  But I understand what you are saying....

Momma:  (Wow he handled that great, so mature....ughhhhh)  Thank you son.  Don't get me wrong I'm sooooo happy for you and I'm really glad you are homesick and all that.  This is the time in your life that you are there to get an education but it's also time to make special memories and meet some lifelong friends..  I really am soooo happy for you.. (now it's time to get off of the phone cuz I'm a dang sap and I'm going to cry!)

Rugrat:  Thanks Mom.  I am here to get a good education and that's my number one priority and I'm doing my best not to procrastinate and put things off because I know I used to do that sometimes in high school.  But, I'm doing really good.  You don't have to worry about me.  I'm getting my work done and I'm having a lot of fun..  I do stay up a lot later now though..  My sleep schedule has changed.  My roommates like to stay up.  Sometimes until 3 am.

Momma:  (thinking to myself SHUT UP DON'T SAY IT)...  Oh, wow.. that is a change... What are you doing until 3am?

Rugrat:  We hang out in front of the dorm, play ping pong, Volleyball or Basketball and then we usually come back to the room and kill zombies.

Momma:  Kill Zombies??

Rugrat:  It's a video game. (He laughs like it's so obvious)  Everyone comes to our room and hangs out.  It's a lot of fun.  And my classes aren't until later in the day so I can sleep in.

Momma:  (If I were his age how fun would that be?)..  That's awesome son...  Just remember to keep  up on your homework... I'd hate for you to have to come home because you started playing too much.  I have faith in you that you won't do that... I just want to make sure you understand that's what will happen if you do....Not saying you will do that, Like I said I trust you are doing the right thing AND having's a balancing act.. (SHUT UP STEPHANIE! Totally rambling..fighting myself to lecture and to support..back and forth...ughhh)

Rugrat:  Ya, I understand that Mom..  I'm doing it...chuckle...don't worry.

Momma:  (I"m thinking...How did I raise such a mature boy at only 18?  I was never this mature then!  I would have been like "I KNOW MOM...gosh, get off my back....")  Awesome...  Okie Doke, I'll let you get back to your friends and homework...  I love you and can't wait to see you.

Rugrat:  I love you too mom.  Talk to you later. Bye.

Momma:  Bye... (hang up the phone and feel sad and proud all at the same time....then I think.. CRAP I NEED TO START DINNER!)


  1. Love this! I so totally get it! Number One Son is starting to have a little independence and it's so tough to let go...and he's still at home.

  2. Isn't it funny how we SWEAR we are NOT going to say that to them... and we do anyway. Obviously you've raised an amazing young man and should be spraining your wrist trying to pat yourself on the back (smile)!! LOVED this post!

  3. Melbatoast68- Isn't it tough?? It's like we fight with ourselves. Let go... Oh my gosh what if he doesn't think about "this".....I NEED to remind him... "Let him fall, he'll learn"... "Ughhh, did I teach him everything already?".. It's hard being a Momma! So many proud moments and so many "Oh crap" moments all rolled into one! I'll be praying for you as you are going through the same stuff!! Us Momma's have to stick together!

  4. Thanks LBD! That is soooo true! I will think before I call, I'm just going to go with the flow.... I'm not going to smother him and tell him step by step what he needs to do.... I'm just going to have a laid back conversation and trust he is doing everything..

    I TRY.....and when he says one thing that concerns me the inner fight begins inside me...YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM.... STEPHANIE SHUT YOUR MOUTH DON'T DO IT...

    I'm such a spaz.

  5. Oh gosh. I still struggle with this kind of stuff. And mine is 22! Your son really sounds mature-good job mom! Girls are a bit different though-I was like you and would have said "I KNOW MOM...Get off my back"...and I think that is exactly what my daughter said to me!LOL! The mommy bloggers with fussy babies, and naughty 2 yr. olds, have no idea...being a momma with a child of ANY age is hard.