Thursday, October 28, 2010


I sit here by the light of my computer screen drinking my coffee (pumpkin spice in a Keurig cup soooooooooo excited when I found this!) and COUGHING my face off.  I thought I was on the mend.  Thought I was getting better and then BAM......start feeling poo poo la chu again last night. 

Even though I'm coughing I'm enjoying every sip and every click on the keyboard.  Why?  Because this is one of my favorite times of the day.  THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM.  The time when my home is quiet.  It's still dark outside and it's still fairly dark inside.  The children are nestled in their beds while visions of sugar plums dance in their heads......oh wait....that's a fairytale....but that is what this time of the morning feels like to me!  It's ME time....  Now all my children are in school (or work) so I'm not sure why when they are off to school it doesn't feel this way, never thought about it.  I think it's because my coffee is so good and I don't feel guilty for sitting down and not "starting my day" (ie getting my work groove going)... ha ha.... AND they look like perfect Angels sleeping.

The calm before the storm.  Funny how that term can fit so many times in our lives.  It actually fits our weather right now too.  I've heard it is supposed to start raining again tomorrow and the next day.  Hunk has been hunting in Idaho and he was in the middle of a snow storm when I spoke with the way, he isn't having any luck yet.  Not making his day.  He is having fun visiting and relaxing though.

Do your Hunk's hunt?  Do they journey off to other states in hopes of bringing home a freezer full of food for your family? (I'm sure this is the main reason, not because it's so much fun and the freezer full of meat is just a perk)...  If I could just find a PERK like that for going to a Spa for a week with daily massages with a group of friends, now that is my kind of fun.  I guess the perk to that would be MY MOOD when I came home....

Great now I'm craving a massage....... just so you know I'll be dreaming about it all day....or picking up the phone and scheduling one.... I still have a gift card.......oh ya baby....... Momma needs a 90 minute massage.

And a pedicure....

Just like a kid, give me an inch.......and I want the whole inch-ilada...  or I take a mile.....OR how about eating an enchilada while I walk a mile..  ok drive....

The thunder has rolled and the lightening will strike any moment......goodbye calm, hello storm. 

Goodbye (for now) e-friends...... 

Good Morning b-e-a-utiful Rugrats!

Someone please pour me another cup of coffee.....

Ciao Bellas~

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I'm joining Pamela at Road to Joy and Nan at LBDDiaries and some other fellow bloggers in a 30 day Intimacy Challenge.  I accepted the challenge and then my oldest rugrat got very sick, then I hit the road to tour colleges, visit Mickey Mouse and return to an empty home because Hunk had left to go hunting in Idaho.  That worked out well for me. HA HA

On a serious note I actually have been paying more attention to our phone conversations.  I have been being sure to let him know I miss him and I am thinking about him.  Funny thing is I say I've been thinking about you and he's like "OH YA",  (you know the tone, the I'm getting lucky tone) why do they always go there? Even when they are hundreds of miles away..LOL......  Normally I would have said "uh.....ya right." and laughed but instead I went with it......I said "Yep dreaming about you hunny".....  He said "Were you sleeping?"  I said "Nope..... I was day dreaming".....So then when I was talking him the next day he said he can't get that song "I been daydreaming about night things, in the middle of the afternoon" out of his mind........then he said "so I've been thinking about you allot"..... 

I'm trying to keep up on the challenge the best I can, until he comes home.  I'm also going to put this neat writing on the wall that I found at Michaels craft store....(as soon as I decide which one to get)....  They were neat sayings for the bedroom wall and they look like they are hand painted once up on the wall.

Any romantic or fun lovin' intimacy ideas???  Send them my way......

Want to join the challenge, leave a comment letting us know you are joining in and if you have a blog leave your link.


Don't forget to kiss your sweethearts goodnight and tell them how much you love them!

Ciao Bellas~

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I'm alive!  I'm typing to you in a dark room at the Grand Californian Disney Hotel at the Disneyland park.  Why in the dark?  Because my rugrats are still sleeping and I woke up I go back to sleep?  NOPE..... I need to write my e-friends!  I've been thinking of you all and missin' you all and so swamped I've hardly had time to PEE!.  OKAY....I've peed but seriously......busy girl!

Some good.......some not so good.

Let's see......since my last post I went to Southern California for my Oncologist appointment....Everything went good.  I need to go have a chest Xray done next week some time but all in all was a good visit.

My friend Sharon came with me and we (actually stayed right here where I am typing to you from today...WELL not this exact room, but you get the picture)......and we went in to Disneyland for a couple days while we were here......AND we got rained on for a couple of days while we were here.

THEN I had a party at my house with a few friends. 

THEN my oldest son called me in tears because he was having so much pain in his chest.  I flew over to his house and drove him down to the hospital (stopping only once to get out and calm my nerves because I was staring to do what I do...and work myself up.....and felt sick to my tummy and a bit light headed....not the best thing for the DRIVER to do)......we got to emergency and waited  and he had xrays done and was told he had pneumonia.....a few days later.........back to emergency we stronger meds (over $300 later WITH insurance) we had the new meds.......slight improvement....yesterday he went in to his primary dr. and was told it is asthma/allergies and his lung is full of mucus, not pneumonia.  The reason his whole body has started aching is the lack of oxygen to it......the gurgle in his lung is the mucus......  So hopefully he will REALLY be on the mend this time.

AND.....I've been touring colleges with my other son.  We went to UC Merced one day, next day UC Davis,  next day (yesterday) Cal State Bakersfield......where we met with the wrestling coaches and my son was offered a spot on the wrestling team there......and then we drove farther south and stopped here at Disneyland.  We will go into the park today, see a water/light show tonight and tomorrow we are touring another college.  Biola University which is a private Christian college down here.  And then we head home.  Saturday he has the ACT testing and my oldest daughter has dance performance at Oktoberfest! of the kids just farted.....not sure who, but lets just say it was not quiet.  If I stop typing it means I passed out from the smell.....How can they not have been woken up by the fog horn sound that just happened?  If Hunk was here I would have blamed it on was that......okay, sorry....I'll stop.

Sorry.....even in the midst of a hectic couple of weeks I still have to keep it real....Spill the beans on my life.....and right now my life is in a hotel room, missing you all, worrying about my oldest son, thinking about how I won't see my Hunk for a couple weeks (he is leaving tomorrow for hunting in Idaho), wondering which college my son will choose and which one will choose him, thinking about all the money that Mickey Mouse will make off of us today and all the fun we will have while he does......

And OF COURSE......wondering if a gas mask would have been a good investment for this trip.....

I hope you all are doing great.   Miss you tons and think about you lots, just feelin' like Dori lately "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming".........

Have a great day!

Ciao Bellas~


Friday, October 1, 2010



Letting go is something we have to do so often, yet it's so difficult to do. 

From the time our children are little we are teaching them so that later we can "let them go".  They can't wait for that independence and yet we dread it.

Not just because we want to control them though I admit I struggle with this,because gosh darnit I KNOW BEST.  But because of the fear we have.  Will they get hurt?  How will the decisions they are making today affect them down the road? 

From the time we send them off to Kindergarten it starts.  Are they going to be able to find their classroom?  Is another someones little brat child going to pick on them?  Are they going to understand the work?  Will they make friends quickly?

Then as it moves on they enter high school and you have a whole new bag of worries.  Will they start hanging with the wrong crowd?  Will they start drinking or trying drugs?  Will they get into fights with someones big brat child.  Will they do their work and get good grades for college?  Will they want to attend college?  Will they be respectful to others?  WILL THEY MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PARENT?

AND then......then it happens.....  They get a drivers license.  The rest now seems like a cake walk.  You are putting your child  in God's hands.  We do this daily but I pray more often, now I pray even harder.  "Please God, just wrap your arms around him and get him to school safely"...... 

I already went through this my my oldest rugrat but now I'm doing round two.  I'm a spaz when it comes to cars.  I've lost two of my very good friends to car accidents.  I know it doesn't JUST HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE...  This spins my head up a bit and makes me be a major freako about my rugats driving.  So my son has only been allowed to drive to the bus stop and back each day, and around our town here.  He has driven other places but always with Hunk or myself (usually Hunk, because as I expressed I'm a freako in the car) and he's done a great job.  BUT ehemmmmmmm  I'm a freako in the car and I want him to have more practice before he takes off up the hill and over that curvy pass and drops back down into town to his school.  (I feel sick just typing this).... Why?  Because my son called and the bus was pulling out as he was pulling in and he is now on his way driving to the high school.  He is going up that hill and over that curvy pass and dropping down into that town where his high school is.  I've already stopped and prayed.  I already shot a text out to my dear friend Sharon and she has already prayed.  Won't you join us?!  Ok, deep breaths and back to my post....
We have to let go.  We let go when they graduate high school and move on to college. 

We let go when they announce that they are getting married and some girl is taking my little boy from me and you are happy for them but it gives a little pain in the heart knowing things will be changing.  Knowing they need you less each year.  This is what we work towards from the time they are born, but why is it so hard to do when the time comes?

Aside from children there are other areas we have to let go of.  OUR YOUTH.  We keep dropping those pennies in the fountain of youth but one day it becomes obvious can't believe I'm going to admit this I will never have my 18 year old body back again.  DANGIT!  But if it came with the price tag of having my 18 year old mind back along with it, I think I would have to pass.  OH I thought I knew it all, just like my oldest rugrats think they do, but oh how I sooooooooooooo knew nothing.

We have to let go of loved ones who pass away.  We miss them, we grieve for them and then we have to learn to let that go.

Our lives are always changing.  New great things happening and the processing of letting go.  It's bitter sweet.

When I'm sitting on my front porch with Hunk, holding hands and  looking out over the lake drinking our morning coffee in peace I may like change.  When I don't have to rush around getting everyone ready for school or taking them to dance, guitar, wrestling or volleyball practice I may be grateful for that change.

Who am I kidding?  I'll have grand-rats running around in place of my rugrats and I'll be smiling every single step of the way.

In with the old and out with the new....A change is a-comin' like it or not.

So I'm going to try to  put on my big girl panties and deal with  look forward to it.

Spillin' it one coffee cup at a time,


PS..... I just called my son WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL ME AS SOON AS HE GOT TO SCHOOL and he is there safe and sound..... my heart was pounding out my chest with each ring of the phone.....

I think I need therapy.

 "Where are those big girl panties when I need them"???